I've been bad and AWOL, but after this monday, I will be blogging more often what with the wedding over and done with. I'm kind of in a weird mood tonight and I started listening to some old music that used to really inspire me to write, and guess what? I wrote.
Enjoy.
Fascination
he wants to shake his clean shaved image
his suit, shirt and tie is starting to feel a little tight
he sees in her a vibration of colour and light
her soul dances and sings without reservation
tempted by the siren between the smoke and glitter
he feels more lost in the crowd
until his eyes
meet hers
and she smiles.
disobedience
i painted a portrait
it was beautiful
with all the right colours and strokes
but the more beautiful it became
the more hideous i felt
i took the brush and chose a curious colour
one that i was attracted to but was afraid to use
and when the brush swept over the canvas
it felt so good to be so bad
to destroy the beauty, the perfection
i realize the darkest hue inside my own heart
i could not hide the ugliness
so i continued to stroke until the feeling of guilt subsided
stranger in my house
when he walks out the door
i unfold and feel the prick of loneliness
the bed is cold
we sit at the same table
but feel a million miles away
he goes east and i go west
conversation is mechanical
an old tv - the connection is fading
he looks further ahead
he wants to taste freedom
open his arms and embrace the world
all its beauty
yet he doesnt see
what is here
right now
could be very well gone
by tomorrow.
August 11, 2010
June 26, 2010
Bridal Tips
So..I've gone into super focused bride mode, hence the lack of posts. I wanted to leave the wit and wisdom of planning a wedding...I think I might continue adding on to this list lol...
1) Lists - I can't stress enough how wonderful lists,schedules, check lists are.
2) Write everything down - there are times where I remember people telling me pertinent information back in September..and I wish remember what they say today, in June.
3) Make a list of short term goals and pace events throughout the year (or how many months you have to plan) - so you know exactly where you are in terms of completion
4) Don't get too bogged down with wedding magazines - Okay, I have to admit, I splurged and bought a zillion bridal magazines because when I was younger, I knew I was gonna do that one day. But really, I barely touched them because most of them are for wedding dresses (which I got right away) and for ads. If you're looking for great resources, go to marthastewart.com, theknot.com, wedding bells or if you're a DIY type of person, weddingbee is fabulous.
5) DIY - Do It Yourself. It will cut costs significantly. BUT...you should still do your homework and see whether you doing it yourself WOULD be cheaper rather than buying. Take into account how long it will take you to make, the supplies, shipping, etc.
6) Let it go. Myself included, we all get so crazy on making the day perfect, you sometimes catch yourself going, "is this what i really envisioned as my 'perfect' wedding?" - look, bottom line is, it isn't whether your table runners are eggplant or maroon, it's the fact you're getting married. you're doing the very best you can. do what you can but don't over obsess over the little things.
7) Make sure not all your conversations are wedding related. Its hard to say to a bride who's planning her wedding since its always always ALWAYS in her mind, but you have to realize that life isn't just about freaking out over linens or not being able to find the right shoes. If someone asks how the wedding planning is going, answer briefly and don't make it a 10 minute one way conversation!
8) Use other brides/newly weds advice. I think most of the people I hired for my wedding were from referrals. It cuts the time of searching and at least you have an honest opinion.
9) Try not to be neurotic. Its hard to say, because there's a million people who have a million opinions. But try and let it slide and tell them you appreciate the offer/opinion/insight and you'll take it into mind. You don't have to, but it'll shut em up.
10) When you have your mind made up on something. GO FOR IT. Don't let people sway you...even if it is an aquamarine taffeta mermaid dress you plan to wear. If you truly want it - then FUCKIN' GO FOR IT.
11) Keep your bridal party in the loop. Be it email blasts, meetings, newsletters...make sure they know whats up.
12) ENJOY your BIG DAY as much as possible. I'm not there but thats all everyone keeps telling me - and its true - going to a wedding recently, the time goes by so fast.
13) TAKE A LOT OF PHOTOS ALONG THE WAY. I haven't taken that many photos but I have a lot from the beginning stages of planning and I absolutely love them. Before the wedding day - its not about the wedding day - its about the journey there!
14) Thank and keep thanking. You're paying your florist, baker, decorator, caterer...you're not paying your bridal party. Be thankful for all they've done for you and what they continue to do.
1) Lists - I can't stress enough how wonderful lists,schedules, check lists are.
2) Write everything down - there are times where I remember people telling me pertinent information back in September..and I wish remember what they say today, in June.
3) Make a list of short term goals and pace events throughout the year (or how many months you have to plan) - so you know exactly where you are in terms of completion
4) Don't get too bogged down with wedding magazines - Okay, I have to admit, I splurged and bought a zillion bridal magazines because when I was younger, I knew I was gonna do that one day. But really, I barely touched them because most of them are for wedding dresses (which I got right away) and for ads. If you're looking for great resources, go to marthastewart.com, theknot.com, wedding bells or if you're a DIY type of person, weddingbee is fabulous.
5) DIY - Do It Yourself. It will cut costs significantly. BUT...you should still do your homework and see whether you doing it yourself WOULD be cheaper rather than buying. Take into account how long it will take you to make, the supplies, shipping, etc.
6) Let it go. Myself included, we all get so crazy on making the day perfect, you sometimes catch yourself going, "is this what i really envisioned as my 'perfect' wedding?" - look, bottom line is, it isn't whether your table runners are eggplant or maroon, it's the fact you're getting married. you're doing the very best you can. do what you can but don't over obsess over the little things.
7) Make sure not all your conversations are wedding related. Its hard to say to a bride who's planning her wedding since its always always ALWAYS in her mind, but you have to realize that life isn't just about freaking out over linens or not being able to find the right shoes. If someone asks how the wedding planning is going, answer briefly and don't make it a 10 minute one way conversation!
8) Use other brides/newly weds advice. I think most of the people I hired for my wedding were from referrals. It cuts the time of searching and at least you have an honest opinion.
9) Try not to be neurotic. Its hard to say, because there's a million people who have a million opinions. But try and let it slide and tell them you appreciate the offer/opinion/insight and you'll take it into mind. You don't have to, but it'll shut em up.
10) When you have your mind made up on something. GO FOR IT. Don't let people sway you...even if it is an aquamarine taffeta mermaid dress you plan to wear. If you truly want it - then FUCKIN' GO FOR IT.
11) Keep your bridal party in the loop. Be it email blasts, meetings, newsletters...make sure they know whats up.
12) ENJOY your BIG DAY as much as possible. I'm not there but thats all everyone keeps telling me - and its true - going to a wedding recently, the time goes by so fast.
13) TAKE A LOT OF PHOTOS ALONG THE WAY. I haven't taken that many photos but I have a lot from the beginning stages of planning and I absolutely love them. Before the wedding day - its not about the wedding day - its about the journey there!
14) Thank and keep thanking. You're paying your florist, baker, decorator, caterer...you're not paying your bridal party. Be thankful for all they've done for you and what they continue to do.
May 30, 2010
36 Plots: Supplication : roleplay.
my husband is addicted to games. and no, not the mindfucking kind of gameplay women seem to enjoy. he's addicted to video games.
whether it be on the computer or on the console, there is always "game" time. which happens religiously three times a day. once in the morning, once in the afternoon and once before he sleeps.
it has become a ritual. he wakes, he turns on the computer and checks his stats on his online games for 10-20 minutes. before lunch, if he's home - he'll be on the computer for 20 minutes checking his sports stats. and then when i ask him to come to bed, again, it takes 20 minutes for him to join me because he has to "finish up some things".
in between those times, there are "cell phone game times". plainly, if i motivate him enough to get out of the house, come grocery shopping with me and the kids, he will be glued to his cell phone playing games the entire time.
and finally, there is "too busy to take care of kids" game time which occurs between the hours of 9pm to 4am. does the man sleep? no. he revels in gaming online with his e-buddies raiding. if the baby cries at 2 in the morning, and i'm sleeping, he'll yell over and tell me that the baby is crying. and when i ask him to go check on him, he says "in a bit" because he's too deep into a raid.
and today...i snapped.
my husband was at work and i took this opportunity to go onto his computer. i went to his sports site and i was looking for the "delete account" option and realize there was none.
i delved deep into the fine print on the site and i emailed them. and their response was that there is no way to delete an account. you would have to completely stop playing and they would delete your account for inactivity.
so, there's no way to retrieve my husbands soul back? you've hooked him for life? i begged them to please delete his account because he was shirking his responsibilities and he was too busy raiding to celebrate his kid's first birthday.
and they said no.
so i said no.
i packed up my things and left.
whether it be on the computer or on the console, there is always "game" time. which happens religiously three times a day. once in the morning, once in the afternoon and once before he sleeps.
it has become a ritual. he wakes, he turns on the computer and checks his stats on his online games for 10-20 minutes. before lunch, if he's home - he'll be on the computer for 20 minutes checking his sports stats. and then when i ask him to come to bed, again, it takes 20 minutes for him to join me because he has to "finish up some things".
in between those times, there are "cell phone game times". plainly, if i motivate him enough to get out of the house, come grocery shopping with me and the kids, he will be glued to his cell phone playing games the entire time.
and finally, there is "too busy to take care of kids" game time which occurs between the hours of 9pm to 4am. does the man sleep? no. he revels in gaming online with his e-buddies raiding. if the baby cries at 2 in the morning, and i'm sleeping, he'll yell over and tell me that the baby is crying. and when i ask him to go check on him, he says "in a bit" because he's too deep into a raid.
and today...i snapped.
my husband was at work and i took this opportunity to go onto his computer. i went to his sports site and i was looking for the "delete account" option and realize there was none.
i delved deep into the fine print on the site and i emailed them. and their response was that there is no way to delete an account. you would have to completely stop playing and they would delete your account for inactivity.
so, there's no way to retrieve my husbands soul back? you've hooked him for life? i begged them to please delete his account because he was shirking his responsibilities and he was too busy raiding to celebrate his kid's first birthday.
and they said no.
so i said no.
i packed up my things and left.
36 Plots
So I'm going to do this challenge called the "36 Plots" in which I will have to come up with some shorts for certain subjects. I'm taking this challenge alongside my sister, Nathalie. Here is her blog: Northern Star.
May 29, 2010
Goals
Time for a more positive post.
Last time I made a list, I completed about 95% of it and I did so many things I was very proud of.
So, here's hoping this will one up my last list!
Short Term Goals:
Hike
Learn how to Dragonboat
Direct & Edit some short films
Learn more After Effects
Travel
Take fashionable risks
Write
Paint
Take more pictures
Write more on my blog
Long Term Goals:
Be knowledgeable enough to start my own business and stay comfortable in it
Learn how to ride a motorcycle
Buy my car
Save more money
Last time I made a list, I completed about 95% of it and I did so many things I was very proud of.
So, here's hoping this will one up my last list!
Short Term Goals:
Hike
Learn how to Dragonboat
Direct & Edit some short films
Learn more After Effects
Travel
Take fashionable risks
Write
Paint
Take more pictures
Write more on my blog
Long Term Goals:
Be knowledgeable enough to start my own business and stay comfortable in it
Learn how to ride a motorcycle
Buy my car
Save more money
I've been a very, very bad girl.
Okay, so I haven't posted in over a year - its because I've been busy with school and wedding planning - I had NO idea how BCIT would take any and every morsel of your life. Dont get me wrong, I absolutely fantabulously love BCIT and I wish I could go back in september but I can't anymore due to financial reasons...but I will be back. I'm going to finish what I started.
There are several things that have been bothering me recently and I don't think it was appropriate if I vented on my wedding blog so I thought this was a better medium for it.
There are several things that have been bothering me recently and I don't think it was appropriate if I vented on my wedding blog so I thought this was a better medium for it.
June 21, 2009
fundraising time.
so i realize that i have absolutely no money for school/rent for the next couple months.
i've always been an advocate for FUNDRAISING...so ...i need to think of fundraising schemes ASAP.
i'll keep you posted.
BCIT OR BUST BABY!!
i've always been an advocate for FUNDRAISING...so ...i need to think of fundraising schemes ASAP.
i'll keep you posted.
BCIT OR BUST BABY!!
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